How will we show up as good ancestors in these historic times?
Dear Good Ancestor,
As you know, my team and I have been offline and resting for the last few weeks.
Taking time to re-source ourselves after one of the most challenging years we have faced in recent times.
While away I haven’t written a single word, read a single book, or thought a single complex thought. Instead I watched Netflix, decluttered the house, spent time with family, took care of my health, and just… existed. It was so freeing to switch from doing to being.
A necessary reminder that my Black life matters.
It’s when we are in that space of being that the quiet voice within has the time and space to speak and be heard. And for me, that quiet voice helped me to hear what my priorities were to be for 2021: Simplifying, minimizing, and decluttering the chaos within and around me, and making space to focus on, master, and enjoy what is most essential to me, personally and professionally.
The things I believe I am here to do and be as a good ancestor.
By the beginning of this new year an energy of serenity and peacefulness had descended over me, enveloping me in its warmth and comfort. And while I knew that 2021 would continue to bring forth personal and collective challenges that would be painful, I also knew that it was important for me to stay centered within.
Despite those warm fuzzy feelings I had at the start of this year, writing this new year letter to you has been really hard.
Like you, I have watched with horror as the events in the US Capitol unfolded. And in the days since, I too have been shocked at the details that have come out about just how violent the insurrection was, and how nefarious the plans of the rioters were. I have also been infuriated seeing how their treatment by law enforcement has been compared to the treatment of the Black Lives Matter protestors in 2020, even though one group was peacefully protesting for their human rights and dignity, while the other was attempting to violently assert white supremacy.
If you've been following my work for some time, you'll know that I first started writing about white supremacy in 2017, following the white nationalist Unite The Right rally in Charlottesville, Virginia. I remember seeing the images on the news of white men carrying torches with hate and vitriol in their eyes, and it did something to me. It flipped a switch inside of me that I couldn't turn off. All I knew was that I had to write and I had to speak out.
That was more than three years ago.
Seeing those same white nationalists, neo-Nazis and white supremacists - now in numbers far, far greater than those in Charlottesville - attempt an insurrection at one of the highest levels, is absolutely horrifying. And sadly, it is not surprising. This is what white supremacy is, and when emboldened by leaders in positions of white institutional power, this is what it can become.
I started writing this letter to you three days ago.
Since then I have written and re-written it a number of times, trying to find ways to express all the thoughts and feelings that have been stirred up in the last week. In the wake of these violent white supremacist events, what do I say? How many ways can I keep saying the same things about white supremacy? Was what I was saying, while true and important, a reflection of how I want to show up in 2021?
I discovered that the process of writing and re-writing was very valuable. As I wrote through the layers of anger, horror, grief, and apathy, I got to the essential. In honoring my humanity, allowing myself to feel everything that I felt, and continuing to dig deeper, I came to this one important question:
How will I choose to be a good ancestor in these historic times?
Because we are in historic times.
We are still in the grips of a global pandemic. White nationalism continues to grow, and white supremacy continues to assert itself. Everything feels very… chaotic. And it's hard to know what to do or say because we feel like we are in survival mode.
But these are the very times that call for good ancestors.
Not superheroes or otherworldly icons, but (extra)ordinary people who make intentional choices about how they are going to show up in the world.
Choosing whether they are going to add to the chaos, or help create clarity.
Choosing whether they are going to give into apathy, or get to work.
Choosing whether they are going to lose themselves in anger and grief, or begin making hope a practice.
Choosing whether they are going to be receptacles of despair, or bridges of hope.
We do not know what the rest of this year has in store for us.
We can allow what is happening in the external world to keep us in a nonstop state of chaos, fear, anger, and confusion. Or we can be intentional, as often as possible, about staying centered within so that we can meaningfully respond to this world and our lives with the outlook of a good ancestor.
I started this letter by telling you about the clarity I had gained by slowing down and making space for that quiet voice within to speak to me.
I want to invite you, in the midst of these urgent and uncertain times, to slow down… to make space for your quiet voice within… and to listen to what it has to say to you.
Perhaps it tells you to breathe.
You hadn't noticed you've been holding your breath and clenching your jaw for some time now.
Perhaps it tells you to sleep.
You've been doom-scrolling on social media for days which has left you exhausted.
Perhaps it tells you to move your body.
You feel stagnant and lethargic, and it's affecting your well-being.
Perhaps it tells you to connect with a friend, family member, or therapist.
You need a safe space where you can be seen and heard, and explore what's coming up for you.
Perhaps, as that voice gives you directions on how to better take care of your needs and you listen to it, following its directions, you start to remember that centered place within.
Chaos dies down.
Serenity descends.
Peace envelops.
Hope speaks… and with clarity and wisdom, begins to tell you how you can show up as a good ancestor in these historic times.