This is a lot. Can we just sit with that?
Dear Good Ancestor,
I’m going to start out by being honest and letting you know that today’s letter was hard to write.
Words are often the one place where I feel ease, grace, flow, and glow. Words are home to me. But when they are stuck, when they don’t come easy, it’s because I am still processing whatever it is that I am feeling, and I don’t want to preemptively solidify my feelings by concretely stating them in words.
So for now I will say that I am in limbo.
And this limbo has been brought about by yet another emotional week that we are collectively experiencing. That interview with Oprah, Megan, and Harry, and the aftermath that ensued. The one year anniversary of Breonna Taylor’s murder with still no justice served. The tragic murder of Sarah Everard in the UK, and the triggering conversations around sexual harassment and the fears of walking home at night (as well as the lack of conversations on the experiences of cis- and trans- Black, Indigenous, Women of Colour in this regard). The horrific continuing rise of anti-Asian violence in the US in the wake of COVID-19 (but going back centuries). Oh yes, and we are still in a global pandemic having officially reached the one-year mark of social distancing, quarantining, working from home, fearing for our health, losing loved ones, experiencing job insecurity, and just trying to survive.
This is a lot. Can we just sit with that? That this is a lot?
Not spiraling into hopelessnes, but also not trying to fabricate a sense of shallow hope or toxic positivity that masks the fact that this is all so very hard.
The limbo that I am personally in, the reason why words are not coming so easily today, is that my primary directive or North Star is trying to answer the question “How can I become a good ancestor?”. Not just when things are in flow, and life is easy. But right now, in these times. With these circumstances. And these events. It’s a hard question to answer when in the thick of things. But I think that’s what makes it a worthwhile question to ask ourselves.
I want you to know that I am still answering that question for myself. That I will be answering it for the rest of my life.
One thing I do believe is that it will look different every day, every week/month/year, and for every person. Some days I’m able to channel the hope and inspiration that leaves me feeling that we can overcome and build a better world. Other days I’m in my grief and mourning for the ways we treat each other and the ways we treat this planet. And some days, like today, I’m just waiting for the guidance to come. Not forcing, not pushing, not masking. Just waiting and listening, with the belief that the internal work we are doing individually and collectively will lead to external change.
That’s all I’ve got for you today, but I trust that it’s enough.
If you’re feeling like I’m feeling then I take comfort in knowing that we are in limbo together. I take deeper and longer breaths knowing we are not alone. And I trust that in continuing to follow that North Star of becoming a good ancestor, we will find our way.
Much love,