Do It Scared

A poem by Layla Saad

Image Credit: Drew Coffman

Image Credit: Drew Coffman

I wish I could say
that I don't suffer from anxiety
I'm not scared everyday
I'm not making it up as I go along
I'm not often at war with myself.

I wish I could say
that I'm always serene
always at ease with myself
never unhappy for no reason
never self-sabotaging.

I wish I could say
that I don't forget my power
I don't lose my centre
I don't get caught up in worry
I don't let my fears take over.

I wish I could say
that I am the
living embodiment
of the Divine Woman
I know myself to be
every single day.

But it's just not true.

I suffer. I cry.
I freeze up from fear.
I get stuck. I get lost.
I lose myself for days.

But what I'm learning
on this journey
is that I can be both
broken and beautiful
scared and strong
worried and wise.

I'm learning that I can feel
fearful and fierce
confused and courageous
panicked and powerful
unworthy and unlimited.

I am all of these things
and I don't need to wait
for the tough feelings to pass
for me to do my sacred work.

I'll do it scared.

And I'll remind myself
day after day
that 'scared' is the way
the most courageous
heroines and heroes
have ever done it. 

Layla Saad
She Is Mother

A poem by Layla Saad

Image Credit: Eric Nopanen

Image Credit: Eric Nopanen

Gymboree class.
School pick up.
Homework.
Toddler nap time.
Toilet training.
Dinner time.
Family time.
Writing.
Editing.
Social media.
Children's bed time.

And now? Silence. Solitude. She time.

Tomorrow we begin again:
family, writing, business.
The sacred and mundane life
of being both
an ordinary human being,
and a soul on fire. 
But right now, as we approach midnight,
it's just me and Her.
My Wild Mystic Woman.

She soaks up my presence.
As I do Her's.

She fills my cup.
Reassures my heart.
And fortifies my inner strength.

She pours Divine love onto me
and into me,
and cradles me
while I surrender to the sweet repose
of Her nurturing arms,
and the fierce protection
of Her never-ending wings.

In my human life
I am a mother,
and I have a mother.
And both of these roles
are gifts from the Divine.

But in my soul life,
She is Mother.

The Great Mother.

Her nourishment
accessible to all of us - any time and all times
we call upon Her,
and get still enough
to receive Her love.

When I am here
with Her,
there is no place to go.
No-one who needs me.
No-thing that needs to be done.

No-where to be
except here.
In this moment.
Right now.

After a long day
of being human,
I savour this time
of melting into Her.

I take great pleasure
in allowing Her
to hold space and love for me,
the way I have held space and love
for everyone whose path
I have crossed today.

Tomorrow we begin again:
The sacred and mundane life
of being both
an ordinary human being,
and a soul on fire. 
But right here.
Right now.
I rest.

And She
mothers
me.

Layla Saad
Soul Speak

A poem by Layla Saad

Image Credit: Frank McKenna

Image Credit: Frank McKenna

My fear says, Shrink.
You're taking up too much space.

My soul says, Keep expanding.
The world will learn to make space for you.

My fear says, Quieten down.
Your voice is making others uncomfortable.

My soul says, Speak up louder. And more often.
You've been quiet for far too long.

My fear says,
Doubt yourself.
You've always been such a disappointment.

My soul says, Believe in yourself.
You have far more potential inside of you
than you can ever know.

My soul speaks:

I am here.
I am with you.
I've got your back.
I won't ever let you down.

Now speak.
Be seen.
Show up.

Break the cycle
that has kept you
small and quiet.

Defy the voice
that has convinced you
of your unworthiness. 

Insist on your existence.
Insist on your magnificence.

Layla Saad
Intuition Leads. Ego Serves.
Image Source: Larm Rmah

Image Source: Larm Rmah

Dear Sister,

Recently I took an action in my business that my intuition told me not to take, but I ignored it.

It was a small decision - it really had no important or long term effect - but my intuition kept insisting, "Don't do it."

I knew why my intuition was telling me this.

You see when I started Wild Mystic Woman I made a commitment to myself that I would no longer take any actions in my business that felt out of alignment.

Even if the misalignment was slight and nobody would know except me.

This meant things like not taking on clients that didn't totally feel like a good fit.
Not promoting anything that I didn't totally believe in.
Not marketing in a way that felt manipulative.
Not launching offers that didn't 100% excite me.

Or any other business action that felt out of alignment with my truth.

But in this instance I ignored my own principles because I was tired and under-resourced and I didn't want to have to deal with the consequences of changing my mind at the last moment.

The thing about our intuition is, if it's insisting you to listen to it, it's usually right. And ignoring it can have small or big consequences.

Thankfully this time the consequences were small. In fact I don't believe there were any external consequences.

But what I struggled with the day after were the internal consequences of feeling disappointed with myself for not trusting myself (especially as I see that my intuition was right), and feeling mad at myself for doing something that was out of personal integrity.

The next day I spoke with my friend Thais Sky, who is a women's leadership expert & spiritual teacher, about how important it is for us all, as new paradigm conscious business owners, to be incredibly discerning about the things we choose to create, share, talk about and promote in our businesses. We both agreed that we all have a great responsibility to not just do things in our businesses for the sake of doing them, but to carefully and intentionally make business choices that reflect our values and inner guidance.

And then a few hours later I spoke with my friend Pat Romain about how I trust my intuition above everything now, and always follow what it tells even if it doesn't make sense.

Well on the day that I chose not to trust my intuition I did neither of these things.

I wasn't discerning about a business choice that I made and I allowed my intuition to be overridden by logic and efficiency.

In short, I acted out of alignment with the woman I want to be. And that's not okay with me.

Whether the act was big or small, self-dishonesty is still self-dishonesty. And as a woman who's highest value is Truth, to be dishonest with myself feels like an act of violence against myself.

That sounds a bit dramatic, doesn't it?

Well here's the thing - the biggest issue clients come to me for again and again is that they feel out of alignment.

That their business or the ways they have been trying to grow their business, feel completely out of alignment. It's why they often feel they don't have the clarity or confidence to make the next best choice in their business, and they are often seriously doubting if they are even cut out for entrepreneurship.

It's my belief that misalignment begins when we ignore our intuition.

When we make choices that don't 100% reflect our core values, beliefs and guiding principles. When we tell ourselves that it's ok to not trust our gut this one time because it's just a small decision and probably won't have a big effect anyways.

Plus, our intuition often does this pesky thing of telling us to do or not do something that makes *no* sense in the context of what we have been working on.

You know the feeling, right? You've spent so much time putting together this incredible program and right before you're ready to launch, your inner voice tells you not to launch it.

"Are you freaking serious?" we ask our intuition. "Do you know how long I've been working on this? How much money I've spent? How much blood, sweat and tears I've poured into this?"

"No!" we tell our intuition. "You don't know what you're talking about. I can't stop now. Plus this is probably just fear talking anyways. You be quiet now and let me get on with my work."

And so we ignore the voice and keep ploughing forward. We ignore the ever present truth within us in favour of our egos.

And often times we (painfully) find out later on that our intuition was right all along.

Once we get started on this slippery slope of bypassing our truth, one tiny act of self-dishonesty at a time, we are headed straight for Misalignment City.

And once we're there it's hard to see how we can find our way out.

Thankfully there is always a way out. It's not easy and often involves a LOT of inner and outer work. But there's always a way out.

But... wouldn't it make more sense if we started making sure that we just trusted ourselves from the beginning?

Wouldn't it be easier if we didn't have to keep playing this same game with ourselves again and again and actually listened to that inner voice *the first time* it told you, "Don't do it."?

That is what I am re-committing myself to now.

I see that I have been taking that inner voice of intuition for granted. I let my ego convince me that it knows how to make better decisions for me than my heart. But that's not how I'm here to lead.

I'm here to lead with my intuition first.

My intuition guides me on what decisions and actions are most aligned and right for me to take at any given time. My ego makes sure that those choices and actions are translated into reality.

So as I re-commit to coming back into integrity I am reminding myself of this guiding principle:

Intuition leads. Ego serves.
And never the other way around.

Because this is leadership I stand for. The type of leadership that says:

  • I am devoted to growing my business in ways that only reflect my core values, beliefs and guiding principles.
  • I am committed to being discerning and intentional about all of my business decisions - whether big or small. Whether other people know about them or not.
  • I am dedicated to leading with my truth, even when it means making unpopular decisions or having uncomfortable conversations.

And I will always call myself out and make immediate corrective changes when I catch myself reverting to unconscious and ego-driven leadership.

And so it is!

Big love,

layla saad
 
Layla Saad
Moon Magic

A poem by Layla Saad

Artist unknown. Seeking credit.

Artist unknown. Seeking credit.

Gather the women.
Wake the witches.
The time for ceremony is here.

Light the candles.
Burn the incense.
Recite your opening prayer.

Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
Get still for meditation.

Play the music.
Dance to the drums.
Flow with your vibration.

Write out your fears.
Confess your regrets.
Let the flames release your pain.

Plant seeds of hope.
Call in your desires.
Let a new cycle begin again.

Shuffle the cards.
Ask your question.
What do you most need to know?

Tell the truth.
What's the deal?
What do you most need to let go?

Declare your intentions.
Thank your guides.
Give gratitude to the Divine.

Blow out the candles.
Go live your life.
We'll gather again next time.

Layla Saad