Minimalism, Essentialism, and The Path of The Good Ancestor
Dear Good Ancestor,
This weekend I spent some time doing what I usually do on the final weekend of each month: reviewing the month that has been, and planning for the month ahead. My monthly planning weekend.
I like to think of these weekends as my necessary moment of pause and intentional re-centering. So much is going on - both around us and inside of us - and if January was anything to go by, we are only just getting started. Taking the time to stop, review, reflect, give gratitude, and decide how we want to spend the next few weeks can be a powerful practice in living with intention. In a world where we are increasingly hyper-connected to one another through social media, we seem to be becoming less and less connected to ourselves.
We recently had the wonderful Christine Platt on Good Ancestor Podcast, and she spoke so eloquently about the importance of living with intention.
Our conversation really made a lasting impression on me when we recorded our episode a few months ago, and it has been an important part of my nascent journey into minimalism and essentialism. I’ve come to understand that these concepts are not about just striving to have less or do less, or even be less ambitious or driven by the things that are meaningful to us. In fact I’ve come to understand it as quite the opposite. It’s about pruning away the non-essential, the distractive, the excess that is less meaningful to us, so as to nurture, fuel, and fully pour ourselves into what is most essential, most valuable to us.
For me this started about five months ago with making changes to my health, then to my wardrobe and personal style, then to our home, and now to my work.
There is that famous saying, the way we do one thing is the way we do everything. I’ve certainly found that on my minimalism-essentialism journey so far. And with each pruning away of what isn’t essential to me, and each intentional decision about what is, I’ve felt more clarity, peace, and focus than I’ve had in a really long time.
But living with intention, or minimalism, or essentialism, or whatever you want to call it is not just about the personal journey. It’s not just about curating your perfect wardrobe or KonMari tidying your home (though I’ve thoroughly enjoyed doing these things). It’s about how we show up in the world - from the inside out. And therefore it can also be an important part of anti-racism and liberation work too. In fact, I’m becoming more and more convinced that it is a way to show up for this work with more vigour and consistency, while also maintaining our sense of joy and humanity.
The journey of becoming conscious of the various hidden-in-plain-site injustices of the world is one full of heartbreak and grief.
As we become increasingly aware of the existences and impacts of various systems of oppression (racism, classism, ableism, transphobia, sexism, to name just a few), and how they interlock and hurt us all in varying ways, a sense of helplessness often engulfs us. How did I not know? How could I have participated in this? How long has this been going on? And…. what am I supposed to do now?
Everything feels urgent, and it is.
The work is overdue because what we hold before us is what we have inherited from those who came before us. Who inherited it from those who came before them too, and so on.
And we have not been passive descendants either. We have caused harm. We have kept silent. We have centered ourselves in spaces where we should have listened. We have gone along with the status quo. We have judged and criticised those who haven’t. We are all in it - most definitely in different ways depending on our privileges and positionality - but we are all in it.
And holding the complexity of these realities, and the urgency for change now (and not at some later ‘someday’) I’ve seen us often choosing one of two paths: The Path of The Apathist, or The Path of The Saviour.
The Path of The Apathist: As we become more conscious of our privileges and the various systems of oppression in society we become overwhelmed by how big it all is, and how small we feel we are. To protect us from our feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness, or sense of responsibility to do something, we shut down. We numb ourselves. We blunt our humanity so that we don’t have to feel it, so that we don’t have to deal with it. We stick our heads in the sand and pretend we don’t know, or convince ourselves that our non-participation isn’t active compliance with the status quo. We become apathetic to the pain in the world, shutting off our sense of empathy and leaving a shell of our humanity.
The Path of The Saviour: Driven by that same sense of guilt, shame, helplessness and sense of responsibility to do something, we jump into action. Hyper-action. This is not focused action. This is action that is driven by a sense of fear of not doing the wrong thing, or of being seen as apathetic. We learn all the right social justice language and concepts, we call others out at every turn (often with a great sense of superiority), we buy every book there is (which we may or may not read, and if we do, we may not take the time to really internalise it), we show others how ‘woke’ we are, but on the inside, nothing has really changed. We are busy showing and telling others, but we spend little to no time in deep self-reflection or behaviour changes that don’t get us likes and praise. These are the people for example who will read Me and White Supremacy, but don’t do the reflective journaling. The people who will make “diversity” changes in their businesses, but not reflect that in how BIPOC are treated in their businesses. We become saviours, which is to say we see the problem as something separate from us that we can save others from.
I think that The Path of The Apathist and The Path of The Saviour are a natural part of the journey of liberation work.
We start off unaware of the hidden systems running our world. We become aware and either fall into apathy or saviourism. We don’t want to do anything about it, or we try to do All. The. Things. And those feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness never really go away. We know we are still not contributing to collective liberation work in the way we wish to be, in order to be in integrity with ourselves. We look to how others are doing it and try to emulate this or that, but it’s still not right.
And it’s at this point that we have a choice. We can either go from Apathist to Saviourist, Saviourist to Apathist, or… to something else entirely different. Something much more intentional that allows us to stay committed to the life-long journey of anti-oppression work, and not just the social media sprints of optical allyship.
This is what I call The Path of The Good Ancestor.
And this is where I bring back the insights I am learning on the minimalist-essentialist journey.
There are many crises all happening at the same time as we hurtle through space on this beautiful rock we call planet Earth. All of these crises are urgent, worthy of our focus, and long overdue for systemic change. And, they are all interconnected. But as human beings with limited lifespans and finite abilities, we cannot do it all. We simply cannot.
But instead of focusing on what they can’t do, a Good Ancestor focuses on what they can do. In fact they get super specific and focused on what they will do. They focus on the most essential things that they - with their unique blend of skills, talents, passions, and experiences - can bring to the table. They do that knowing that there isn’t just one way of working towards change, one approach that works best, or one side of the system that needs to be dismantled or rebuilt. Instead they understand that it all needs to change, which will require all of us contributing in the best ways that each of us can, alone and together.
The Good Ancestor understands the both/and of their limitations as human beings, and the infiniteness of the legacy they can create and leave for others if they choose to focus on what they can do consistently with depth, vigour and even joy.
This doesn’t mean that they see other struggles or approaches as less important or less worthy of their attention.
They don’t for example, just focus on fighting sexism, and leave racism, classism, and other -isms to others. As I said, they deeply understand that all of these things are inherently connected. You cannot look at one without looking at all the others. Instead they look at how they can use that one area of focus to work towards change as a whole. Climate change activism becomes a doorway to dismantle racism, colonialism, and classism. Feminism becomes a doorway to dismantle racism, transphobia, classism. Antiracism becomes a doorway to dismantle capitalism, colonialism, sexism. And so on.
The Good Ancestor is focused on their area(s) of impact, while never abandoning the understanding that all of it is interconnected.
And because they are focused and committed, the work that they do is deep, not shallow. They understand that they can’t do it all or know it all. But by doing their part with great purpose and consistent attention, they are contributing to the collective effort towards a new world.
I look to our past Good Ancestor Podcast guests as beautiful examples of this. Each one focuses on their area(s) of skill and passion with great attention and depth, and by doing so, they open doorways into other areas that are inherently interconnected.
Each one of these incredible Good Ancestors is focused on what they can do, and in doing so, are able to do so much more than if they tried to tackle it all in one. How we do one thing is how we do everything.
As we enter this second month of the year, I invite you to take a moment to pause and reflect on what your anti-racism or social justice journey looks like right now, and whether it is one of intention. Are you trying to do all the things like The Saviour? Are you overwhelmed and shut down like The Apathist? Or are you focused on the few areas which you know you can best contribute to, and that can help you open doorways into all the other interconnected areas?
Get still. Get focused. Decide. And then step onto The Path of The Good Ancestor.
Layla
P.S. Next week I’ll be taking the week off work with my kids who will be off for their school half-term. I’ll be back in your inbox with a new Letter From Layla on February 15 and some exciting news! Stay tuned :)