Why are we so afraid to be Wild Mystic Women?


Why are we so afraid to be Wild Mystic Women?

Because the world fears wildness, mysticism and women.

And it has taught us to fear ourselves, too.

Over the past year or so I have done a lot of inner work to excavate, revive, heal, reclaim, integrate and rebirth my inner Wild Mystic Woman.

I have read countless books and articles on the Divine Feminine and feminist spirituality. Each lunar cycle I have carried out rituals of releasing and healing. I have hired energy healers and spiritual mentors to support me through reiki, Akashic records sessions, card readings, flower essences and healing my relationship with money. Hell, I even became an energy healer so I could do the work for myself!

I have worked with archetypes to help me access parts of myself I had forgotten. I have done an incredible amount of work on healing my mother wound and my relationship with my mother.

I have cried rivers of tears that fully acknowledge the grief, rage, shame and unworthiness I have carried around with me all my life.

I have told my unapologetic truths both to myself and to community. I have read and written poetry to help me honour my darkness and remember my light. I have worked with the cards everyday to help my tune into my own intuitive guidance. I have meditated my way back to presence.

I have prayed and prayed for my words and my work to be of service.

I have done my inner soulwork and my outer soul's work in devotion to the truth of my inner Wild Mystic Woman.

And yet I can still find myself crying on the bathroom floor.

Feeling misunderstood, feared and ashamed of being a Wild Mystic Woman in a world that misunderstands, fears and shames wild mystic women.

This month is an intense month for us all. Five planets in retrograde. Eclipse season. The Lion's Gate Portal. One minute you may feel fine and the next you may find yourself, like me, crying on the bathroom floor.

A lot of your old shit may get dragged back up to the surface again. Wounds you thought you'd healed. Beliefs you thought you'd released. Patterns of behaviour you thought no longer ran your life.

And a whole lot of fear about being a Wild Mystic Woman in a world that fears our truth, our sovereignty and our embodiment.

Fear of being wild and instinctual in a tamed and conditioned world.
Fear of being mystical in a world that overvalues rationality.
Fear of being a woman in a patriarchal world running on toxic masculinity.

All of this and more may be coming up for you now.

Whatever comes up, it's okay. Let it come up.

Cry. Rage. Grieve. Surrender.

And then use the tools you have (books, ritual, energy work, archetypes, poetry, cards, meditation, prayer, truth-telling, nature and whatever else you can find) to help you heal what needs to be healed, so that you no longer have to internalise the fear that the world has about you as a Wild Mystic Woman. 

Read these words very carefully:

You are a Wild Mystic Woman. Your presence on this Earth is necessary.

We need your voice.
We need your medicine.
We need you to remember who you are.
And we need you to own it.

All of it.

If the world is afraid of you, that is their problem. The biggest act of service you can do for us is to show up fully in your, truth without apology. When you do that, you teach us how to do it for ourselves, too.

So that one day we'll remember, there is nothing to fear and everything to love about being a Wild Mystic Woman.

Layla Saad